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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Me too.  And I don't know why.  I'm so much bitchier to them than I am to anyone else.  Or at least I'm inclined to be bitchier, so I'm always monitoring my behavior and bending over backwards to be extra-nice, which ends up coming out awkward.[/quote]

Okay so I am just going right down the line of these posts and can identify with nearly all of them. Wow. I think I am at my WORST when I'm around my MIL and sometimes my SIL. It doesn't help that I love my FIL, so it feels almost like a bitchy to women thing (but it's not - at least I genuinely don't think so). I've said this before, I think my biggest issue with my in-laws is that my husband's weird quirks, that are just weird quirks when it is just him, become almost amplified when he, his mom, and his sister are all exhibiting the same weird quirk at the same time. The other issue I have with my in-laws is also a DH issue, really. He let them make so many decisions for him, that now that we're a family, they still tend to operate as though he's still a single guy or worse, still a teenager under their roof and he kind of rolls into obedient mode when they are together and I start to slowly lose my ever-loving shit.

Anyway, every time we see them, I tell myself I'm not going to be such a damn bitch. But then MIL says something off, and I just flip the invisible bitch switch and there you go. And like PP, I also bend over backwards to disguise it but I'm sure it is as obvious to me as it is when MIL does this.

In my meager defense, I wasn't always this way. I tried to reach out to MIL, to do things together with her, etc, but she didn't show any interest at all. For her part, she did some really nice things for me early on that got a bit waylaid in my irritation over how controlling she can be. I think we've both made some good faith efforts and now we kind of have a gentleman's agreement to fake it.

Maybe this thread will inspire me to really, really do a better job trying to connect with her. I might make a spin off thread - basically, if you have a MIL you don't have much in common with, how did you bridge the gap and not just tolerate her but like her? My stepmom has her hands full with my grandma, for instance, but stepmom really thinks of her as a second mom. Like, yes, she's crazy and bitchy, but loves her fiercely. I don't love my MIL fiercely; I'm not even sure, if I were honest, that I love her at all, but I'd like to. [/quote]

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