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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in sort of the same shoes as you, but I'm the gal wanting to have more sex.  My husband's job is tiring and stressful.  If it weren't for my insisting on having sex on Saturday morning, it would be a year now since we last were together in any sort of nakedness.  He has made no advances on me for a year and when I make mention of "getting down and dirty", he gives me the look of "I just can't...I'm too tired and stressed out".

Yet, all this time, I sympathize with him because my life raising the kids, one of them is special needs, is incredibly stressful and sex is usually the last thing on my mind as well.  Yet, we have always tried to make an effort every month or so to be close.

[b]Raising kids is stressful and so is working full time.  Can you not have some compassion for how she might be feeling right now?  I'm not here to flame you....I'm here to ask you to tune in a bit to her.  What are her needs that are not getting fullfilled?  Perhaps YOU might take the lead of getting a babysitter for the evening and take her to a nice dinner?...IDK, just some ideas to show that you are understanding of her stress as well.
[/b]
It's always been my opinion that if you have a good enough marriage that you can talk to each other about anything, why needs therapy?

I have a couple questions for you, OP:
1. Has she pushed you away when you've advanced on her for sex?
2. do you fight about other things?
3. Has she made any requests of you that you've ignored?...like helping more with the kids and/or the household chores?

This information would help a lot in giving you better advice.  [/quote]

This is such utter nonsense. Yes, raising kids is stressful - that's par t of having kids, doesn't give you a free pass on sex for 10 years. That you turn that into it being his fault because he doesn't have compassion or is insensitive to her needs is ridiculous. Give me a break. Would you be okay with your husband showing you no physical or emotional care for 10 years because he was tired and someone responding to you saying it is your fault for not showing compassion that he was tired - you shouldn't expect your spouse to care when he's tired, be sensitive to his needs. What a horrible foundation or a marriage. He shouldn't have to beg or pay her (in deeds) for sex. He hasn't said anything that would infer he is a self centered jerk who doesn't contribute to the household or parenting or that he isn't good to his wife. [/quote]

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