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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
Reply to "ISO gift ideas for new parents with NICU baby"
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[quote=Anonymous]As a biological mother who is also an adoptive parent of a special needs kid, I think that in this situation you should give a gift for the baby, whether it's a little outfit, or a picture book, or whatever. When my bio kids came along, I had many months of people celebrating that I was going to be a mother. Lots of time to talk, and to dream, and to kind of settle into the idea that this was coming. Even if my baby had been premie, I would have gotten that message before the baby came. But with the combination of adoption and disability, there was much less of that. And during that period when my son was in the hospital (a few months in our case) and not in my home, it was really hard to feel like i was his mom, and that this was a wonderful thing and not just a scary thing. I wanted my new kid to come home desperately, but I didn't really feel like his mom. One of the things that made an enormous difference to me, and that I will always be grateful for, were the people who celebrated. One sister in law immediately asked what size he was, and pestered me with questions about what color his eyes were, and his hair, and what did he like, so she could send me cute clothes. In doing so, she reinforced that this was an exciting thing, and that I was his mom and would have opinions about those things. I think that if I felt that disconnect, when I was already a mom, and it wasn't covid so my relatives could visit, for first time parents in covid it would be worse, and the fact that not everyone celebrates gay parenting might even make it more so. Given all that, I'd want to send a gift that sent the message that their kid was worth celebrating, similar to what I'd usually give at a shower. [/quote]
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