Reply to strongly favored parent - how to break the cycle

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[quote=Anonymous]My kids have their preferred parents, but it's more chemistry than anything behavioral. DS1 was a preemie, and I cared for him day and night almost exclusively during the first few months. At 3 months old, we took him on an outing and I was prepared to take lots of pictures. When I held him he was mostly very 'meh' about it. When DH held him, his little face lit up and he could. not. stop. smiling at his dad! There's simple, electrifying chemistry between them, or witchcraft. He's been like that ever since, always daddy's little shadow. Meanwhile DH is really not that good at actual nurturing or meeting their physical needs.

DS2 took a strong preference to me from infancy. When he could talk he'd say it's because he didn't like dada's smell. DH does not smell, and he has good hygiene. It's just that DS2 prefers my smell, whatever that is (probably the artificial chemical smell of my deodorant, ha).

Now that they're a bit older (DS2 is 3.5), they started to warm up more to their less preferred parent. DS1 now has moments when he only wants me, and vice versa with DS2. We haven't done anything specifically to address it, just being consistent and loving.

I think you just have to wait it out. Also, take the path of least resistance. If the 2 yr old is less stubborn around DH, have him take care of that child's bedtime routine. Point being, divide and conquer and get things done. Don't worry about long term attachment b/c they will change and mellow out.

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