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[quote=Anonymous]Both of my kids (2 and 4) STRONGLY prefer me to my husband, the 4 year old more so.  And I honestly get why - when I'm with them I'm very engaged with them, play with them, make things like getting dressed fun and silly etc.  When my husband is with them he will play for a short burst but then more exist around them and when he needs them to do something (get dressed, potty etc) it'll quickly turn into a battle of wills with him trying to make the kid do something.

Its the worst at bedtime - both kids prefer me and dh will have to physically pry the one i'm not doing that not off of me while they scream to do their bedtime.  the younger one calms down once he's out of sight but for the 4 yo its an awful stressful experience for both of them that involves crying and yelling.  It definitely doesn't help them build their relationship.

DH tries in his own way to build their relationship (trying to take the 4yo out on an adventure on the weekend) but the 4yo always tries to choose to just stay with me instead.  I can't just leave b/c there's no where to go (covid) and i work so bedtime and weekends is my main time with my kids and i want to be able to spend time with one or both of them.

Any advice? the 4 year old and dh seem to be locked in a cycle of negative interactions that only make it worse but just caving and letting the 4yo always be with me wouldn't be a good dynamic to solve it either.  i'm having a 3rd this summer so ideally while the kids may always prefer me they'll also be happy with dad.

this problem is pretty unique to dh - they're fine with the nanny, babysitters, visiting family etc - the general dynamic isn't that they're ultra clingy to me and shun everyone else.  little kids don't come naturally to dh - he tries but isn't good at being fun / silly / patient and yes ideally he'd read some books or take some classes - i can't make him do that.[/quote]

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