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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you provide some examples OP?   Is this one of those....mom says no more snacks so dad goes and gives him some chips?  A[/quote]

OP here.  No, not at all.  I am not into controlling things like that. The weirdest example I can come up with is me doing the easter bunny responsibilities and DH taking credit; but DH is like that about a lot of things, mostly intangibles. To elaborate, I make plans for the kids, and DH will either try to sabotage it, or claim he did everything to make it happen. Bizarre.  There is no simply enjoying something as a family.  Another example: DH monopolizes conversations and expects me to do all the background work to make it happen (ie: having a meal together, but I am the one who plans/cooks/cleans/serves it).  His family or origin is VERY old fashioned, obviously - that is just one example - but I did not want to get stuck on one example, as DCUM tends to do.  DH seems to resent me for a lot of things, it is weird. I had a different upbringing, grew up with an enormous family and lots of socialization (whether or not I was up for it - but I don't want to get stuck on that) and DH grew up moving a lot, so I think he hates that my cousins are the same age as my kids, etc. Again, ot sure how to explain this - DH jockeys for attention if my cousins (their kids) do the same sport/hobby/whatever as my kids, over which they connect - DH will chime in "oh, did you know (DH's cousin) does THIS?!" Yes, it's weird. [/quote]

If you planned for and cooked the meal, can't you just say "Mommy made this for you"? Does he then argue that he's actually the one who cooked? Because that seems... not quite sane[/quote]

It's more that he makes sure he is "holding court" (like his mom does, see above) and DC's attention is with him, not me.  I do all the thankless jobs (again, like most of us) - which is fine, but there is no positivity in the room between me and anyone - like I don't exist or am being shoved out.  Again, intangibles that are hard to explain. Like he actually wants me to be on the outs with the kids, he is craving attention.  In his family, negative attention was better than no attention (that is how mean they were).  [/quote]

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