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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Struggling to Support Unemployed Husband"
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[quote=Anonymous]My DH quit his finance job after almost a decade. He was really good at it and made a ton of money but had grown tired of the intense pace and long hours, and wanted to do something more meaningful. The idea was to take a break for a few months and get a less-intense job, still using his finance skills but in a nonprofit setting. He did the research on the kind of work he wanted to do, identified potential employers and roles, it is a growing field so seemed like a good plan. I was supportive of his idea, I could see he was totally exhausted and missed having him around (we have a young kid who barely saw him). Well, a year later, he is still unemployed. His prior job was really niche and we're guessing employers don't think the experience transfers well. Everyone says to network, but he doesn't have a network - he's belatedly realizing that he neglected this, it wasn't necessary for his last job and it's not really his skill set. He's tried conferences, cold-emailing people, pro bono work in his target sector to show his interest, everything he can think of. Obviously the pandemic doesn't help. Until recently, we were trying to focus on the positive, but after the last set of resumes sent into the void with no response, he's feeling quite hopeless and doesn't know what to do. He is leaning on me for support, but honestly, I feel hopeless too. He's tried everything with zero success. The niche he was working in before is a dying field, so even if he could handle the hours again, there's not much opportunity to go back there. He wants to go back to school, but I think mid-30s is too late and I don't want several more years with no income, plus there's no guarantee that a master's degree will help him break into the field. We have savings but we're going through them. He really doesn't want to be a SAHD and I don't want to work full-time. I do freelance work and bring in some money. My experience is in a really low-paying field and we never planned to rely on me as primary earner. We're fighting a lot about this, I feel resentful that he can't get a job and I hate that my friends pity us. I don't see a way out. We tried counseling but it's not really helpful. He doesn't have family (they passed) or friends (his friendships mostly disappeared because he was working all the time), so he has no one else to lean on but me. By the way, we got together before he was rich and had a fancy job in finance. I am fine with him earning a lot less in the nonprofit sector. The problem is that he can't get a job, period. [/quote]
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