Reply to 3.5 year old doesn’t behave or respond to rewards/punishments

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would cut the nap, earlier bedtime.

Make him clean up the messes he makes.  If it takes a long time to clean and is delaying, it comes out of TV time.  If he is making too big of a mess in his room, explain that some toys will have to be packaged up and put away until he can show you he's able to take care of his things.  Then let him pick 3-5 favorite toys and pack the rest away.  You can rotate them or bring them out later if he's able to keep his room cleaner.

Does he have a favorite toy?  Use that as his currency instead of a reward chart.  Or he can earn TV time with good behavior.

Overall I would rely less on childproofing and rely heavier on consequences.  He's old enough to understand what he should be doing and is choosing not to.

It's a hard age, as you know.  Hang in there!![/quote]

Just a quick note to say it’s not really true that he is old enough to understand and choose not to. Brain research shows that kids are JUST starting to develop this skill at ops sons age and while they can understand and “know” what others want them to do or the boundaries, impulse control is still poor. It is over the next couple years that both of those things really come together. So yeah I think ops child proofing is really smart as much as she can because consequences will only be so effective. In the moment he still might struggle to control the impulse (and remember all kids are different, your child may have been able to do this earlier but that doesn’t mean ops child isn’t still perfectly within typical development).

Trying to work with him to clean up, sure. But yeah would just be hesitant with these as they aren’t super supported by research now. I would go with other suggestions op to drop the nap, do tv time during that time do you get a break, and do a super super early bedtime so you get another break.. Sounds tough and likely isn’t anything you are doing, jjst your kids personality![/quote]

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