Reply to At wits' end with potty training 3yr old

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, we are in the same boat. No advice, obviously, just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. I am exhausted by it.

And we have the same issue with daycare. Our DD will not tell them that she needs to go. Just refuses. If they ask her if she needs to go, she says no even if she pees 30 seconds later. She will sit on the potty when asked, but never puts anything in it at school. We have to send her in pull-ups. It’s not a choice at this point.

What is frustrating is that at home, she will independently decide to use the potty occasionally. But it has to be 100% her initiative. If we ask, she says no. But like tonight I was getting her ready for a shower and she just said “Hold on, I have to go pee.” Went to her room to use her potty (she won’t use any other), wiped, then got in the shower like it was no big deal. And then she insisted on pooping in her pull-up after going to bed (like she knew she had to poop, we knew she had to, she sat on the potty and didn’t poop, then put in her pull-up and pooped it it the minute she was in bed). So we had to get her up and change her immediately. Exhausting.

We’ve discussed it with her ped and even talked to a behavioral therapist (though not a PT specialist) and the consensus is that we have to let her figure it out on her own. There is nothing to be gained in trying to force the issue; she just digs in and we’re all miserable. And like you, there is no bribe that works. We have a brand new scooter sitting on a shelf in her room waiting to be the reward. She really wants it. But not enough to use the potty consistently.

Anyway, I hear you. I feel like I failed. But when people say we messed up by going back to diapers, I feel confident they don’t know what it means to have a child this difficult to train. It’s not resistance or frustration. It is absolute refusal. I can’t physically force her to sit in the potty, and even if I did, she’d refuse to go in it. She’s not like this with other things. But on this issue, it’s her way or the highway.[/quote]

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