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[quote=Anonymous]Your mom made other plans when you couldn’t or didn’t want to see her.  You may have been justified, but the fact is, you made a choice not to see her.  If she’s at all healthy, and it sounds like she is, she found other things to do.

Put another way, would you want her canceling her plans to see you… knowing that if she’ll do that with or for you, she’ll also do it to you.

Your mom sounds like a good person, op.

One of the things people and even organizations need to remember is that if they aren’t around, no matter how good the reason, healthy people will find other things to do that are wholesome and appropriate.

When our church opened up after being canceled for months, there was a talk on how church needed to be a priority.  I kind of rolled my eyes at that, I’d gotten along fine without it, I’d missed it, but I wasn’t sitting at home pining either.. I was home, but I was reading hanging out with my kids and husband, listening to podcasts, cooking I had plenty to do.

I also felt and still feel that if they’d dialed back on the lecture and simply said “so nice to see you” I’d have gone back to making it a priority.  I simply didn’t like being told to do it.

You can tell your mom whatever you’d like, op, just know that you can’t untell it.

Finally, and it’s sad that you’ve gotten this far in life without learning this, you don’t get special treatment for doing the right thing.  This is why you need to be sure internally that what you are doing is appropriate for your situation.  Sometimes that’s easy, sometimes it isn’t, and sometimes it’s real hard to know the difference between what is truly important.  It’s also why some people at some points in their life say “I don’t care about the greater good, I care about the good of myself, my husband, my family.

Your chose the greater good, and that’s fine, your mom chose to do the smaller good while you were not around.  She’s allowed to do that.  [/quote]

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