Reply to FIL with dementia demanding to “go home”

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[quote=Anonymous]You punt and keep punting.

"Your house is not ready for you."
"It is nice to have you here today,  let's plan for tomorrow's doctor's appointment"
"Is there something you want from your house?"

I would start getting POAs "temporarily".  "Dad, I can do your bills much easier if you sign this.  You can always revoke it."

For the Health POA, when you are with him at each appointment- make sure he signs that you can be called and have information relayed to you".  If he balks at the paper work, "I hate all the paperwork too, if you sign this- I can take care of it for you.  You can always revoke it."

If he insists on keeping his keys, do what the nuns did in 'Sound of Music" and disable his car.  You can have his doctor notify DMV that he has been diagnosed with dementia.  My MIL would not give up her car, so it sat in the assisted living facility parking lot where she could see it from her window.  We disabled it and she kept one set of keys.  It was comforting to her until she eventually forgot about it.

Each day is a punting day and will be repetitive to you.  When you need to go on vacation, have the long term care facility be the place he goes "temporarily".  Or if he gets sick and needs to be hospitalized, he can be released to a "rehab" facility.  But you have have to do your homework and figure out where he will be going and work with them to make it work when the time comes.

For my FIL/MIL, my FIL got sick and need surgery so they moved into the assisted living center for his procedure and recovery.  He ended up going receiving hospice from there and died 4 months later.  But MIL was already there and we kept her there punting- her dementia has progressed too far to go home. [/quote]

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