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[quote=Anonymous]For the past year we have done socially distanced visits with my parents. Outdoors, masks, etc.  This was about keeping them safe, and keeping us safe, and helping society- etc.  My brother did not follow any social distance rules- and after the spring 2020 lockdown my parents decided they did not want to wait any longer and they started seeing him on a regular basis- indoor, unmasked, with his extended family, etc.  My sister started letting my parents visit last fall- but only if they all had been tested and there had been at least a week since seeing my brother. Other than my parents, her family is pretty locked down.  All winter my Mom would guilt trip me about visiting us and how she missed my kids, etc. She refused to not talk about visiting my nieces and nephews in front of my kids- which led to jealousy and numerous extra conversations with the kids about why we were doing what we were doing (and why we were trying to be respectful of other peoples choices, etc). But she also refused to do a 2 week quarantine + test in order to see us- which is what we said we would be comfortable with in order to see them in person. According to her, she would not go that long without seeing my brother and his baby, nor my sister and her kids.  I am still upset about this all, but I am trying to move on.

Fast forward to now.  My parents will be fully vaccinated in 2 weeks.  We have been vaccinated.  And so we are now comfortable with seeing them in person without masks.  I called to arrange a visit and she says that first they planned a week long vacation, then they are visiting my brother, then they are visiting my sister, and then they have to babysit for my brother, and then they can see us.  So we will be able to see them 6 weeks after the first date it is possible. But only for a few days because then she has to babysit for my sister. and go on another vacation.

I feel like she is passive/aggressively punishing me (and thereby my kids) for our choice to follow the CDC recommendations.  And my brother and sister (and their kids) are being rewarded for not following the recommendations. After spending almost a year with them "dying to see us" and "so miserable without us" it just feels really upsetting that we were 4th on their priority list (after vacations, brother, and sister). My husband thinks I should talk with her about this, but I just don't know how to. I don't know what I could say that would help me deal with all the emotions this has brought up in me.[/quote]

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