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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No way would I force a gap year.  Allow them to rise to the occasion, as I think most do.  Give them the space to develop on their own.

H thinks there's a 50/50 chance that DC will flunk out of first semester, for non-academic reasons, though I have noticed that he tends to do better when we are not micromanaging him and it's all on him.  We shall see, but the one thing I am absolutely certain of is that another year up in that bedroom would be even more harmful than this year has been.[/quote]

This is a super helpful perspective. Thank you.[/quote]

DP and I agree, thank you.  I have suspicions that my DS could benefit from another year of maturing, but on the other hand another year in the basement is not going to be productive either.[/quote]

Yep, this. There should be a clear plan for the gap year. Remember that many friends WILL be heading off to school, so staying home without a plan could feel like being left behind and also could be lonely. I'm not sure it matters what the plan is, but there should be one. If the options are limited because of covid, then it's worth thinking about what is worse--possibility of crash & burn at college or year in the basement? Reasonable people might disagree.

Also, if your kid has been accepted at a college and plans to defer, make sure you get clear information on what deferment means. Some schools offer certain types of aid only to incoming freshmen, so a decision to take classes at the local community college and start as a 2nd semester freshman or a sophomore could jeopardize financial awards. And some schools do not allow you to take classes for credit at all during the deferment period.[/quote]

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