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[quote=Anonymous]I had the kind of parents who felt like all they owed us was food, clothing and shelter until our 18th birthdays - but they had the right to make onerous demands on us for how we used our lives well beyond our 18th birthdays. They showed very little affection to us and begrudged us every investment in extracurricular activities our entire childhoods. I joined choir in high school and had to work as the treasurer of our fund drives so I could have my fees for our choir trips to festivals paid - my parents wouldn’t pay, and my mother complained endlessly about the very modest cost for the choir dress each year. My parents weren’t wealthy but they weren’t poor either - my father had a full military retirement benefit on top of his salary, but he spent much of his money on gambling and buying guns and other toys for himself, he had no real interest in spending money on opportunities for his kids. He made it very clear by words and actions that he never wanted us in the first place. My mother had to make all the household bills on part of his salary and all of hers, so she was always worried about finances and didn’t have much to spend on us. To her credit, she spent very little on herself either. We were lucky they were willing to spend the extra on car insurance so we could get our licenses and practice driving with my mother’s car - I think she only did it so she didn’t have to drive us around anymore. My mother was very insistent that I go to college, but my parents didn’t save anything for us to go, so she pressured me into taking out mountains of student loans to finance my education. We were lower middle class as were most of my friends growing up, and it’s so frustrating to me how so many of my friends, my cousins and half siblings are so far ahead of me financially despite never going to college, while I’ll be paying off student loans almost until retirement. I couldn’t even afford to have kids because of all that debt. Given the state of this country- the lack of opportunity for upward mobility and the declining environment- I’m not really as sad about that as I would otherwise be. But I am definitely sad about it at times, and I envy people who were raised by parents who had the parenting philosophy of really do everything possible to give their kids opportunities in childhood and beyond, and really enjoying their kids for who they became of their own right and not seeing them as just an obligation or property to be controlled.[/quote]

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