Reply to H accuses me of refusing to take the bar exam while solely caring for 8-year-old during pandemic

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Reply to "H accuses me of refusing to take the bar exam while solely caring for 8-year-old during pandemic"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am looking for advice on how to make my H understand my situation and point of view. But perhaps he is right and I am delusional/lazy/money grabbing?

I was about to start preparing for another bar exam (of a state where we want to move) when the pandemic hit. I am already a member of one state bar and work as a sole practitioner. To escape COVID my 8 year-old son and I moved to a much safer area (planning to stay for about one year), and H stayed behind and continued his work. Since mid-March 2020 our son had a total of 10 weeks of full-time schooling and and 4 weeks of 14 hours/week.

I have reduced my workload significantly and can barely keep up with client work. I still bill around $10k to 15k per month, because there is just so much to do in my existing cases. I mostly work before our son wakes up, and whenever I get 15-30 uninterrupted minutes throughout the day.

Of course, I had to postpone the second bar exam. Based on past experience I know that I can take it only when our kid will be back in school full-time.

[b]H accuses me that I refuse to take the bar exam on purpose so that I can continue to live off him[/b]. He wants us to have "separate budgets" and eventually divorce. He says that he is only biding his time allowing me to earn less while I take the second bar exam, so that I can ramp up my earning afterwards, presumably so that he will not have to pay me alimony.

He says that I should hire online teachers for the kid so that I can prepare for the bar. I told him that it is unrealistic to have the kid be taught online for 6-8 hours a day by various teachers.

Besides, the vast majority of good teacher have jobs during work hours.

I am so upset that he does not understand my situation. Am I unreasonable? He says that I should stop all client work and should only focus on the bar. I told him that even then I would not be able to study 6-8 hours per day with an 8-year-old around 24/7 (minus 14 hours per week). Of course, the law school graduates are supposed to spend more like 10-12 hours studying during the three months before the exam. I do not have any help like grandparents.

I would like our kid to finish out this school year here where we have been staying during the pandemic. Besides, it's not like H would be a big help when we return in the summer. He moves around a lot because of his work anyway and is due to transfer to a new location soon, where he will spend the next five months.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
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