Reply to Thanksgiving issue - would you be bothered by this or am I being too sensitive?

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[quote=Anonymous]Every year we go to a few family homes for T-giving and Christmas.  Everyone always pitches in and brings a dish so as not to overwhelm the host.  Since DH and I have been married, my MIL has always either told me not to bring anything, or when I insist, she says to bring soda!

At first I was okay with this because we were young, childless and I was fine with just showing up with a few liters of coke.  But as the years go by, I realize that while everyone else is part of the event by preparing, bringing a dish, coordinating, etc. I'm the ONLY one that is treated more like a guest than a family member.  Over the last few years, I've tried:

1.  Bringing a side dish anyway - result - my MIL and SIL wouldn't touch it, and others would take a little bit and eventually, MIL would tell me to take it home (while other leftovers were split up for everyone to take a little bit home)

2.  Asked to bring something more/to make something - MIL responded with an email to DH to have me bring a plant for the centerpiece (and upon more pushing - added for me to bring coffee)

So, now the holidays are here again and DH got the email asking us to bring coffee.

I feel like I am being purposefully excluded and being treated like the only guest with 10 hosts and it's just to the point where I'm trying to make the effort to be part of DHs family, they are completely resisting.  For background, MIL and I never had the best relationship but we got over it and have become polite and nice to each other.  We welcome each other over, make nice conversation when we get together, do nice things for each other.  It's all superficial in a way, but it's a nice solid polite place.  I know this kind of goes along with it, but I'm jsut starting to get more hurt that I can't be part of the family in this way during the holidays.

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