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[quote=Anonymous]My DH is great at taking on childcare duties and does a great job of splitting them with me. But he is TERRIBLE at getting our child out the door when he is taking her out (so I can work, or clean, or call my mom, or whatever). Like he’ll say “At 3 I’ll take her to the playground.” But it doesn’t happen until 3:45. And since often the goal is do I can actually do something, and my child spends that extra 45 minutes coming to ME, it is really tough for me.

So much of what he does during this time makes no sense. He’ll say “we’re going” and then sit down and stare at his phone for 5 minutes. He’ll pack a snack, but then start asking me about a bill ( as I’m trying to start whatever task I need to do). In the meantime, our child, who is 3 and needs focused energy and attention to get her out the door, is a mess. She will then resist leaving and I will wind up dropping what I’m doing to do what my DH should have done to start: motivate and move her along without giving into the whining and resisting. He just acts helpless about it, and seems to have developed no skills to move her forward (like he doesn’t understand that sometimes you just need a single effective motivation, like “once you are in the stroller, you can eat your favorite crackers”). Plus all his starting and stopping definitely contributes to her resistance because she’ll start out excited about leaving and then get caught up in playing while he checks his email, and then meltdown when told she needs to go.

How can I facilitate my DH getting better at this? It totally derails what is supposed to be productive time for me and by the time they are out the door, I’m so exhausted I have trouble focusing. He’s stepping up and bring a partner to me and a good dad, but he is just very bad at this specific part of it and I need him to be better.[/quote]

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