Reply to Do you have a difficult child and how do you define one? Not special needs. Just difficult.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many people say "my child is difficult" but don't elaborate. Just sight and look sad.  What does it mean to have difficult child. 
If you think your kid is difficult, why? What make them difficult and how do you know they are not just being a kid?[/quote]

I was the difficult child.  As a baby, I didn't want my mother to rock me, but wanted to rock myself in the rocking chair (this was a big deal to her).  I was very high energy. As a baby and kid, I was super sensitive to both light and sound.  The sun was too bright (literally - to this day I get migraines and overheat if I'm in the sun too long). But I also hated dim lighting, like ambiance lighting in restaurants. I was afraid of water and never wanted to take baths or showers. I don't think I washed my face until I was in late high school. I was afraid of fire. I failed 8th grade science because I couldn't bring myself to use the bunsen burners and didn't tell my teacher. I still can't use matches. I was a picky eater, and still am. I've gone to parties and drank 7 or 8 glasses of water but eaten nothing because i didn't like the food.  I am smart but have severe learning disabilities that weren't diagnosed until I was 19.  So I grew up being told I should do better, be better, but I couldn't and didn't know why. I have been fired from many, many jobs that I try SO HARD at.  I couldn't make or keep friends. In my entire childhood I got invited to two sleepovers. I stopped having birthday parties after 2nd grade because I didn't have friends to invite to them. There are some really basic things that I can't figure out how to do - like make a baked potato or clean a cast iron pan. I ask the same question 3 or 4 or even 6 times, and then nod and smile and stop asking because I'm embarrassed to still not understand. I could go on and on but you get the idea. [/quote]

Oh, honey, my heart hurts for you, and for kids like you were. Have you been able to get some help as an adult?

Sensory processing issues sound like a large part of your problem, at least as a child, but it sounds like there are a lot of challenges that have snowballed on you over the years. I’m sure there’s a better awareness of neurological issues than there were when you were a kid, and that’s there’s some way to help you interact with the world in a more comfortable way. [/quote]

Nope, no help as an adult.  I basically work around myself.  I look at menus before going to restaurants, ask different ppl the same question so they don't realize I'm asking the same thing over and over, etc. After I failed out of college, I got testing and that's how I found out about the severe disabilities but the only help I got was to take college tests in an alternate location and unlimited time - neither of which helped me.  I don't know what kind of help to even pursue. I live in San Francisco and never hear people around here talk about this stuff. [/quote]

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