Reply to Left Out/Childhood Baggage. Help!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, stop paying "your feelings" so much attention

-how about you go do something productive[/quote]

You mean like trolling people on the internet?  :roll:

OP, it never feels good to get left out, even when you can reason through it and know it's not personal. When I'm in this situation, I find the best antidote is to reach out to friends outside this particular circle. It helps to remind you that this evening with neighbors isn't the be all and end all of your social life. Can your reach out to family or friends from a different part of your life? You don't have to duplicate your original plans with them. In fact, I would just reach out to different people in different ways. Send a text to a friend outside the neighborhood you haven't seen in a while and suggest a weekend meetup sometime in the next few weeks. Email the family about a recipe exchange. Etc. Some people will get back to you right away, some will take a while, but it will remind you that your social life isn't limited to your neighbors.

I have a friend from grad school who is always my to to in moments like this. She moved to the suburbs a few years ago so we don't get together as often as we used to, which makes her the perfect counter balance to these kind of neighborhood things. Our connection is older than our kids and isn't about location -- we just like each other and have an easy rapport, so talking to her, or even exchanging a few texts about some random celebrity news or what we've been reading, makes me feel connected and boosts my senses of self-worth. Do you have someone like that? It doesn't have to be your closes friend, just an older friend that you have an easy back and forth with.[/quote]

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