Reply to Separated soon to be ex H is moving in with AP... DS has never met her

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[quote=Anonymous]Ugh yes you have to tell son now (both of you) and start getting him prepared. I would line up a therapist for him.

my dad did this, and it was terrible because I could not develop a relationship with him post divorce. His AP (now my stepmother) was super insecure, had to control everything, be there all the time, insist on running the show (and she also harbored a ton of resentment against me and my brother since we were the reasons my dad did't leave my mom earlier). And my dad abdicated to her, and basically stepped aside as a parent and if I wanted to see him it was always on her terms, in her house, etc. It made me feel incredibly unwanted and damaged my relationship with my dad permanently--it was a harbinger of things to come. (this is a woman who screams and yells at kids, including my kids, and never has once apologized for her rages, so DH has ruled out every staying with them again).  Hopefully maybe your soon to be ex's girlfriend is a nicer person and will attempt to make your son feel welcome and also not intrude too much. Either way, I would ask your ex to plan to spend some quality time with your son without the AP around. Its not about her, its about your son being able to develop a relationship with his dad independently of the girlfriend. Besides, the more he tries to force his son to accept his new life and girlfriend, the more likely it is to backfire.  [/quote]

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