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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I would. However, I would not marry someone who did not know how to set appropriate boundaries with his parents. (I don't think that has to mean "cut her out of his life, FWIW, but he needs to have your back).

One of the most important things a married couple needs to do is to behave like a team. You are, literally, his other half, so he needs to make it very clear that hurting you hurts him. And hurting your child? Unacceptable. A line should be drawn in the sand, then and there.

.... Your boyfriend needs to learn to manage his family better. There is really no such thing as in-law problems (except when they do something crazy like ignore a restraining order). There are almost always spouse problems. [/quote]

Couldn't say it better.  My divorced parents had lots of issues and if I had anything I vowed to do different it was behave like a team with future spouse or not get married if I couldn't find that.  Whether it has to do with child rearing, splitting housework, or setting boundaries with families you can't have the other person leaving you hanging, contradicting you, having no spine etc.  Most people I know have one spouse with dysfunctional family and the other fairly stable.  DH and I joke as to which side we will represent when our kids get married some day.

As for cutting her out of his life, I don't know all the back story but personally it would bother me if someone I was dating cut his mom 
out of his life because of me.  Now if he sets boundaries and mom goes off in a huff, that's one thing but I like to believe he would always leave the door open for things to get better, but not throw be under the bus so to speak because it is his mother.[/quote]

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