Reply to Brother married up, treats our mother like crap but his in-laws like gold.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it possible head a very different relationship with your mom and just doesn’t enjoy being with her?  I know my husband’s brother thinks he is a monster for not spending more time with their dad. But his brother was the Golden Child and had everything given to him while my husband was and still is the scapegoat and the target of his dad’s nasty digs.  We avoid him because it hurts.[/quote]

Very much this. OP, your brother may be super thankful that he now has a family he can enjoy. Just because you are close to your mother, doesn't mean he is or has to be.  [/quote]

No, our mother is very sweet. And since when does a parent have to be fun or "enjoyable"? I'm sure the wealthier in-laws are more engaging or fun -- but that doesn't make it right to treat your mother like yesterday's paper. It's our mother. And I'm not going to be complicit in his attempt to pretend he's not treating her poorly. His in-laws see their grandkids multiple times a week, my mother sees the grandkids maybe twice a year. And it's not his wife, I think his wife is the only reason he calls or invites her the few times he does. His wife is a sweetheart.[/quote]

NP. You just...don't get to decide what his adult relationships should look like. That's just not your call. You are in charge of YOUR relationship with your mother. Full stop. You are not in charge of how he chooses to spend his time. You are not in charge of what his relationships with other adults should look like. You are not the arbiter of what is "fair" and "not fair" when it comes to HIS CHOICES and HIS RELATIONSHIPS.

Do you get it? [/quote]

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