Reply to Brother married up, treats our mother like crap but his in-laws like gold.

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[quote=Anonymous]My husband and I are upper end of middle class -- normal 9-5 jobs. My brother (my only sibling) and his wife the same upper end of MC -- normal 9-5 jobs too. But SIL's parents are multi-millionaires and have some status in their community, where she and my brother reside as well. Since he married her five years ago, my brother totally disregards our widowed mother, so I have to deal with everything, dinners, invite her places, etc. or she'd be totally alone -- especially hard during the last year. He does not care.

A few times a year he will ask me, my husband and our two children to come visit he, SIL and their two children and act like everything is rosy. My mother will get maybe an invite or two per year. We're all supposed to be fake and put on a 'best brother/son' routine around his in-laws, who he hangs with basically all week. He also hangs with her siblings (and their kids) easily 10x more than me and my kids.

I've been ghosting him because he's such a jerk specifically with regard to my mother. Maybe it would be excusable if he was too busy, but he is a total kiss***, drops everything and bends over backwards for his in-laws. Now SIL is wondering why my family seems distant and I have not mentioned any of this to her. I know for a fact he isn't transparent with her about my mother -- out of sight, out of mind. And this isn't an across the country thing -- same region, 90 minutes away.

Any advice? No, I'm not jealous. It's not about him choosing his in-laws over my family, it's ghosting our mother in favor of his MIL/FIL that really bothers me. And then keeping it a secret from his wife because he knows he's being a jerk.[/quote]

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