Reply to How do you feel when another parent asks, or tells, you to say or do something with your child?

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Reply to "How do you feel when another parent asks, or tells, you to say or do something with your child?"

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[quote=Anonymous]A mom in my neighborhood recently asked  "a favor" that involves me approaching my child about her concern. I find this incredibly inappropriate.  Sharing her concern with me is perfectly acceptable and understandable but what "I " choose to do about it with regards to my child is really none of her business.  The kids are 8 years old and her concerns aren't related to big things such as lying, bullying or the like.   It's more like "Susie (her child) will be upset if xyz happens.  Can you talk to Jane (my child)  just to make sure this doesn't happen?"

First, my parenting style just doesn't jive with this.  I often talk to my kids about what to do in certain uncomfortable or potentially upsetting situations but it would never occur to me to ask other parents to "help me" by talking to their kids so that the situation never actually happens. It just seems so manipulative and a recipe for stunting a child's growth, in my opinion.

Second, I believe that inserting yourself into someone's relationship with their child (by asking you to talk to them) is completely inappropriate and overstepping boundaries.  Again, I have no problems at all with her sharing concerns with me and certainly would expect any parent to approach me with concerns if it involves my child.  But what I do about it is up to me.  I don't want someone asking  - or telling me (as she has done in the past) - to say or do something with my child.  I'm perfectly capable of determining whether my child should be approached about something. Her request for this "favor" (her word) seems so ... manipulative (of me, my child and her child) Am I being unreasonable? Am I missing something?

I've often thought it would be nice if my kids just didn't socialize with this child so I don't get subjected to her mom --- but I have no control over this because the mom often brings her child to our alley to play with another kid on our block who is friends with my kid.  The only way I could keep them from socializing is by keeping my kid inside when this child is around, but that is most definitely not an option.  [/quote]

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