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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry for your loss, op.  I think this may be a case of “different people are different”.  If she truly believes in an afterlife, she may process grief in a different way.

It sounds like you may have a challenging family, as you mention some estrangements.  It could be that she has boundary issues, and that’s what you’re sensing.  It’s hard to imagine someone being “upbeat” at the funeral of a child, especially in front of the parents.  I’m used to Irish funerals, which often start off somber, but turn into laughter-filled celebrations of the person and their life.  Always with the wry note of very much missing that person though.  It sounds like she’s missing the “missing” part.  [/quote]

Yes, she believes in an afterlife, she is religious.  But many others are as well, but they don't act cheerful and lively and become the center of attention at these functions.  Yes to boundary issues, and I've often had to be very firm with her with boundaries.  But I just don't have the same mental and emotional strength to do that when I'm hurting, and it almost feels like she senses the wounded animal and is going in because she knows I don't have the strength to fight back.[/quote]

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