Reply to Is it normal for 7 or 8 yr old to be a perfectionist?

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Reply to "Is it normal for 7 or 8 yr old to be a perfectionist?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm dealing with this myself with my kids (especially oldest girl, 8 1/2).  I love the book Mindset (Carol Dweck), which talks about the importance of praising effort, rather than results.  My husband thought I was crazy when I told him it was a bad idea to tell our daughter she was "smart," because that can feed into the perfectionist thinking and, paradoxically, cause children to try less hard when the going gets tough. ([b]I'm either smart or I'm not, so if this doesn't come easily to me, that means I'm not smart at it and I should quit and do something else[/b]).  Instead, praise effort and perserverence (I can see you worked hard on this).  A lot of books have echoed/repeated Dweck's findings.[/quote]

OP here -- this really resonates with me b/c I never understood in college WHY people would stay in a major where they were getting C's and D's.  I on the other hand, probably should have chosen a more marketable major, but I stuck with the subject that I could get A's in.  I remember thinking many times the exact same phrase that I highlighted in bold.  I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.  Although, I don't remember having drama and trauma for misspelling a word on a quiz, but then, my parents never gave me spelling quizzes either.

I may have to look for that book.  Thanks!

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