Reply to Is a cheated-on spouse better off knowing or not knowing?

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[quote=Anonymous]I suppose you would have to ask my husband, but he would have to know to answer the question, which he doesn't.  My lapse was a one-time thing with an old college flame during a very troubled period of my marriage.  It seemed as though things were irretrievably broken.  In fact, many on DCUM advised me to leave DH when I posted about some of our issues, which I was planning to do.  I met with the divorce lawyer, had the strategy all mapped out, and was biding my time so as to have the least impact on the kids.  I don't know whether he was cheating on me; he easily could have been and I would not have known.  He was the enemy.  We barely spoke except to fight.

A funny thing happened on the way to divorce court, though.  Once I stopped caring and stopped fighting, and instead told him how it was going to be (because I no longer had anything to risk), we slowly found our way back from the abyss.  I think I would rather leave the page on that chapter turned rather than tell him and to hear what (if anything) he has to tell me.  In many ways, I feel like those people were not us.

If he left me now because he was cheating now (he travels a lot for work, so he could, but he is not), it would break my heart.  Back then, I would have been glad for yet another reason to kick him to the curb.[/quote]

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