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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She needs professional help, she's unwilling to get it (scared, overwhelmed, can't afford, logistics are too tough, name your reason), and so she's leaning on her brother.

I would say it's actually a form of enabling - as long as she can bend his ear with her stories of woe everyday, she can stay afloat and not get the help she needs or make any changes - but she does need it, as you can tell by the frantic calls when you don't answer.

I suggest that your husband tell her that her issues are very serious, and she needs to talk to a professional. He can volunteer to do the leg work for her (find an AA or Alanon meeting, find an anger management class, find a therapist and make her an appointment,  etc, etc for either her or him) BUT can tell her that these issues are way over his head and he can't help her.

Then, when she starts talking about the drinking and anger, he should cut her off and say "Larla, we've talked about this. These are serious issues that I can't help you with. My offer to connect you with a professional or help in any way I can stands, but I don't have any further advice."[/quote]
She’s calling her husbands brother, not her brother. If he hasn’t told her not to call, or call as much, I’m not sure how she is overstepping?[/quote]

OP here. DH finally told her to get her act together and she wasn’t happy that he told her off. I don’t think it’s normal to be calling out of state relatives so many times in a day. Or making suggestions to ship a problematic spouse to them.[/quote]

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