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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is very hard for the people who grew up with emotionally mature, nurturing parents to understand what we have experienced. Some of them can be incredibly judgmental because they just don’t get it. Many people don’t grasp that child abuse isn’t just bruises broken bones or molestation or serious physical neglect. They might see that you grew up with material comforts and maybe weren’t ever even physically assaulted and think you aren’t really a victim of child abuse.

But mental cruelty inflicted by a parent is incredibly destructive - it undermines your sense of self, your ability to develop a healthy way of being in this world and in all the relationships you will ever have your whole life through. If you have managed to forge a healthy marriage or other committed relationship and to have children and be raising them using healthy parenting strategies, you are a super hero and you have all my respect and love. And if the very sound of your mother’s voice brings up all that pain and toxicity and causes you to struggle with the healthy life you’ve managed to create, then you don’t need to hear that voice anymore. You’ve done your duty as an obedient child long enough. You didn’t ask to be born. You didn’t ask to be abused. You owe her nothing. [/quote]

I am the PP who shared her mom's story.  Yes!!  All of this!!

It sounds like you've broken the cycle, OP.  Claim the victory and do not fear letting this woman go, if that is what you choose to do.  [/quote]

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