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[quote=Anonymous]I agree that you need to find out the root cause of your behavior, or the behavior will only return. I did something terrible that hurt people I love. First, I took responsibility for my actions directly to the people who were hurt most by my actions. I said, I did this and I am sorry (with NO BUTS). Second, I did A LOT of work on myself to find out why I thought my actions were okay. It was not easy and the answer did not appear overnight. I had to look in the mirror, and recognize I was the bad guy in the situation. And then I did (with a therapist and on my own through journaling) what I call peeling the onion. I would dig deep, and when I found an explanation for my choices, I would keep going and continue to peel the onion. I peeled that onion until there was nothing left, and while that was painful and hard, I am in a much better place now than I ever have been. The work was so worth it.

I think working directly with a professional who could ask the right leading questions would help you, if you truly want to address these behaviors.

P.S. Please don't fall into the self-defeating mindset of telling yourself "I'm a terrible person." No. You are a person who made terrible, hurtful choices and you can change. But change won't happen without acknowledgment and growth.[/quote]

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