Reply to Husband and I Disagree On Parenting Philosophies

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[quote=Anonymous]You are breastfeeding so you get a much bigger vote in this particular parenting choice than your husband does. The schedule has to work for you AND the baby, which it sounds like the on-demand feeding without a rigid schedule does. Explain to your husband that if you try to impose a rigid nap schedule now, that will affect not only how you currently feed but actually has physical impacts on you (you might have to pump more because you are full of milk during an appointed nap time, or you might see overall decrease in milk levels because you are messing with something that is currently working).

Your child will feed less frequently as he gets older, which will allow for a lot more opportunities to create a schedule. And when I say "older" I mean in like a month or two. My DD was EBF and I was able to put her on a very stable napping schedule at 4 months without even doing any formal sleep training. She was just big enough at that point that she could get a full belly in one feeding that would last a few hours, which enabled her to lie down in her crib for long naps after breakfast and lunch and then a short nap before dinner. But trying to do it earlier would not have worked because she needed to eat more frequently.

I get where your DH is coming from. He's stress and tired and he's "problem solving" but trying to come up with a proactive solution to the "problem" of having a newborn. One of the most important things to learn as a brand new parent of a new baby is that a lot of your problems aren't really problems, and don't need solutions. They are just the normal phases of life with a baby and they extinguish on their own. You kind of get into a rhythm with it and learn to just endure short periods of sleeplessness or frustration with the knowledge that they will end and then you will be dealing with something else (often something delightful, like your baby learning crawl or starting to laugh and babble).

But your instincts are good. Try to explain to your DH that it's okay if the schedule right now is a little inconvenient. In the scheme of things, it's a blip. Trust me.[/quote]

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