Reply to If a friend confided in you that they were being abused by their spouse what would you do?

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Reply to "If a friend confided in you that they were being abused by their spouse what would you do?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I would work very hard to insert myself as a support for her. She is telling you now because things are getting bad.  Be a buffer and document but to NOT send it to her. If spouse is abusive they are controlling too. Get her away from home when uou can. Say you need her to drive you to medical or something critical. When you’re away - give her reaources. Offer a therapy session with a domestic. Abuse advocate; talk to a criminal lawyer about what leaving what look like.

Settle the unanswered questions in her head about what transition from daily terror to peace would look like. Remember she is vulnerable and likely codependent so it’s not some easy fix but a process of self awareness on her end too. Try to take up something where you get her away regularly — soul cycle? racquetball? Body pump classes? Helping you get through a (manufactured) crisis?  Get her away, get her relief.

And just be there for her, no matter what.

I’m an abuse survivor and these were things that helped me. You’re a good friend for asking.

Also — yes please document everything on your own. Separate account on paper whatever. Have it available should ish hit the fan and documentation be required to validate events + sworn testimony.

Last, don’t pull away from her if she goes back and forth. I did this a few times and it meant the world that I had a friend pretending things were normal while we talked about the oscars — when deep down I was screaming. [/quote]

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