Reply to Please share the "talk" you had with your DD about dating age, boundaries, expectations

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[quote=Anonymous]At 13, I would be sure to include a conversation about sending or posting selfies.  I'm astounded at how big a piece of "dating" and "pre-dating/flirting" that is.  According to my DD (also 13), most of the kids who call each other their boyfriend/girlfriend connect almost exclusively on-line instead of IRL.  Some of that is because of Covid, but my sense is that it was a big part of things even last year.

We've talked a lot about being careful about the pictures of herself she shares with others, including her BFFs -- not just boys -- and we drew a hard line about not sharing photos of herself in a bathing suit or sports bra.  (We'll review the "bathing suit" thing this summer, but for now there's NO REASON to do that.)  We also talked about the fact that boys may ask for more revealing or "sexy" pictures, and she should always refuse at this age.  We talked about why (including the obvious fact that things circulate quickly . . . but it needed to be said) and I shared some real life examples of things that happened in our town and others re suggestive (or worse) pictures and videos.

Here's one of the standards I threw out there for her to use when sharing pics of herself:  Would you want Grandma and Grandpa to see it?  Would you want their friends to receive it from their grandkids and then forward it on to them?  She seemed to get that (and it gave us an opening to talk about "sexy" poses and facial expressions.  It's a thing at their age.  Ugh.  We'll see . . . . )

Finally, keep an eye out for Snapchat because pics of course disappear after the recipient opens them (but not before they've had a chance to screenshot it.)  In DD's school, literally everyone in the various social circles use it instead of "regular" texts.  It's challenging because of course we can't monitor it.[/quote]

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