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[quote=Anonymous]In a relationship where infidelity occurs, there are contributing factors that are shared. First, you don't even know that he's cheating, so screaming about surviving infidelity websites is a bit premature. Second, unless you can fix other people, the only thing you can fix is yourself. I've sometimes wondered if my spouse was cheating, but ultimately it is the little spark of jealousy that forces me to continually improve myself. When my employees screw something up, I must ask myself: Am I being the best boss I can be? Did I communicate clearly? Were my expectations known? I cannot affect the choices people make around me, I can only work on my deficiencies. If my hypothetical employee screws up constantly, then yes- I will take action, but in the process I become better. If you're just looking to demonize men- then demonize away. If you're looking for a long-term solution that will make YOUR life better, then, focus on those things you can fix and have the good grace and dignity to accept what you cannot change. If he is cheating, you cannot change that. If he has low character, you cannot change that. If he is a total loser, you cannot change that either. You can only change those things you can control and reduce the odds. I think we've all at one point or another made our marriages fertile ground for infidelity. It is the character of the other person that moves us through the hard times and back into better ones.

You can dig through the cell phone if you please. What happens if you discover he hasn't cheated but has a gambling problem or some other problem? What happens if he hasn't done anything at all and now you've violated his trust in discovering that he hadn't violated yours? 8:02- you sound bitter.[/quote]

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