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[quote=Anonymous]So many problems in my marriage. On surface looks amazing.
So much resentment- on both sides. (On both sides)
I am so bitter and resentful that he’s underemployed, and been so for many years. 
I’m so bitter and resentful that he complains about doing too much childcare.
I am so angry about being the breadwinner for years now (which was never a joint duscussion) and doing a minimum of 50% childcare hours on top of working. From home.
At beginning of pandemic he stated that we should keep kids out of preschool for financial and health reasons since he’s at home and under employed. 
Yet now, he says he’s burned out and the set up is unfair. “This arrangement doesn’t work for me. I do the entire day with the kids except for lunch and dinner And I never get an extended break until the weekend.”
 (FYI I generally work from 8-1030, take kids from 1030-nap, work from 1-530, take kids from 6-bed.)
Since he said this about not getting extended break and arrangement not working for him, I’ve shut down. Over it.

He is so upset about my lack of communication.
He’s not wrong- we don’t talk about issues. I am loathe to initiate discussions about things we should be talking about...even things that bother me greatly, because his pattern is to shut down, ice me out, and make our home a miserable environment. 
So, I keep it all bottled inside. 
I want to say everything I just typed and more. I want to scream and throw things. You know what’s not f-ing working for me- having an under employed spouse who complains about caring for his kids. You know what’s not working for me- Working full time, being the breadwinner, the provider of benefits, and doing 4-6 hours of childcare a day.

I’m tired. Angry. Highly offended. Too tired to care anymore. Too angry and resentful to muster up the energy to have the conversation.[/quote]

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