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[quote=Anonymous]We are almost exactly your profile, especially the low energy.  My dh doesn’t travel though. We did go for the second.  It has been a disaster.  The lowest points of my life, and of our marriage.  Couples therapy.  It is far more than double the work.

But...I was spoiling my oldest.  I didn’t realize it but I understand now how he never had to wait for attention.  Usually never even had to ask.  It has forced me to establish boundaries and empower him in ways I would not have done before.  And of course our second child is loved and is usually the sunniest of all of us.  We have to get outside and be active everyday at least twice a day, no matter the weather.  We were very lay in bed people before.  We had to adapt.

We’ve just reached ages 2 and 4.  Just now getting sleep routines under control (shakily) and moving towards last potty training.  It’s a gauntlet.  We came through stronger I think, but it shaved a few years off my life for sure.  We both had to give up our separate selves almost entirely for a while there, it’s divide and conquer when they are young.  You really have to be buckled in.  Hoping for a break at least until the teenage years.  [/quote]

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