Reply to s/o Is it really a status thing to have 3+ kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some people think so! It’s like “hey I can afford to send THREE kids to private school, take that!”

This is so bizarre to me. Of all the reasons to bring a child into the world, turning it into a form of conspicuous consumption seems odd to me. But hey, as long as the kids are loved and cared for, more power to them?[/quote]

But do you really love a kid if that's how you view them?  Some parents don't actually love their kids, and if your kid is a way to show off your wealth, you don't love them, any more than you love your SUV or your Birkin bag or whatever your Veblen good du jour is.  [/quote]

I don't think they actually love them. They are just objects or things to train to perform on cue. There are plenty of people who do have the kids for the status, even if only within their own extended families. Dumb, but true. The kids are shipped off or left with family members most of the time and just trotted out for photos or the occasional event. Sometimes they use nannies to the point they are surrogate mums and that is who the child asks for when they want comfort. There are also some men who seem to view # kids as proof of their manliness. Generally, I find those men to have been ignored by their parents and women when they were younger. Then they do well financially and seem to get off on throwing their weight around just because they can.

I saw it at two extremes-one wealthy family and the father had a bit of a complex. He basically ran through wives when they wanted longer than 2-3mo between conceiving children before finding another one. The one I met was in tears the entire weekend we spent together (she was wife 2 or 3).

The other family with seven kids was poor, not particularly popular and they did it for the status within their church and a way of guaranteeing they wouldn't have to be alone because nobody wanted to be around them. Even the ILs didn't because they couldn't handle the alcoholism and how mean they got, much less the loads of kids and a pool. Because one of them had seven kids and the other five. The two couples would get trashed and leave all of the kids (all but one under 10 at the time)under the supervision of the maternal grandparents who finally balked.  Not sure what happened-we went NC after that. [/quote]

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