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[quote=Anonymous]My best friend since high school moved to Europe @10 years ago (right around when I had my first child), ended up meeting a man there soon after and getting married 4 years ago. We attended her wedding and have visited several other times.  Her husband seemed like a nice man and my husband and I enjoyed spending time with them.

My friend called me a few weeks ago and told me he’d cheated with a former co-worker. She’s devastated but they are in therapy and she wants to make it work, she thinks. He’s now turning it into “I’m not sure I want what you want” and basically being a narcissistic jerk. They are about to move into a bigger home. She wants kids and he has not decided but “probably does not” (she’s not sure she wants kids now, but she did, and when they married he said he wanted them too). Now she’s worried about splitting up because she won’t be able to stay there after her current fellowship ends in two years, she’s worried she won’t be able to find someone else and have a family. Basically the whole life she’s built for herself in another country rests on him. She’ll be 38 this year and isn’t sure she wants to deal with dating again.

I want to help and advise her, but other than telling her I’m here and I love her, and reminding her that she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, I don’t really know what to say. I can’t fly there to be with her, she hasn’t told her family or many of her other friends because she’s embarrassed and devastated. I’m happily married with 3 kids, she knows and loves my husband (who currently wants to punch her husband in the nose) and I don’t want my happy family life to upset her either. Any advice for how to help?[/quote]

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