Reply to DW loses temper with people and I am embarrassed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re a guy, right, OP?

[b]Sometimes women have to be aggressive to be taken seriously and get what they want.  Frustrating, but true.[/b][/quote]

This.

If she was yelling or screaming, that would be out of bounds.

But women get taken advantage of, especially with contractors, when they're nice and sweet. We have to be aggressive and firm to be taken seriously. [/quote]

OP here. I agree with this. But she was not the one dealing with the contractor. Why does she intervene in what I am doing? Does she think I am inept?

As another example, daycare, where we have happily been sending our children from infancy through pre-k, emailed about a form that we completed but they lost and wanted us to complete again. I replied first and said OK we would complete it again. I thought that was sufficient. DW replied next and gave the date we completed it and asked why they lost it. I thought the email was snippy. The director replied back and apologized but said they can't find it. Rather than leave it alone, DW replied again and said we would complete the form but expressed displeasure at the form being lost. The form takes two minutes to complete and the center is dealing with how to navigate COVID, so I can understand they may have misplaced a form. So was it necessary to give them a hard time about it? And was it necessary to get involved after my email saying we'll take care of it?[/quote]

You do sound a little bit like a doormat, tbh.  The first guy didn't come on the day he was supposed to, and then did the wrong thing when he did show up, and you were explaining that you'd prefer he do what you actually asked for.  The second example she's the one who submitted the form judging by the fact that she knew the exact date it was submitted.  Of course it's only 2 minutes to fill out in your mind, because it's her time you're being free with.

In my experience if she thought you could or would handle it she'd step back.  But she's not going to let a contractor walk all over you guys for a third visit so you can feel like you're buddies with a guy who works with his hands and there's nothing remotely wrong with the fact that she expressed displeasure that they'd lost a form.  It's unprofessional to require forms from parents and then lose them and require they be resubmitted.[/quote]

Actually I completed the form and it did take two minutes. However, what purpose does expressing displeasure about the form, not once but twice after someone has apologized, serve? The action has no productive purpose. The form is lost, they apologized, and you have to complete another one. It only serves to irritate someone who takes care of your children all day.[/quote]

Expressing displeasure at unprofessional behavior is not losing your temper.  And if you're afraid they're going to take that email out on your kids then you have bigger problems than their disorganization.  Why is their potential irritation at an email worth your walking on eggshells, and your wife's justified irritation at their mistake "embarrassing"?  [/quote]

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