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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think time to accept she's overwhelmed, likely depressed, and has very little control in her life.  Her caregiving is probably really, really hard.  I would look into whatever you can do to make her life easier.[/quote]

So this. You are taking it personally rather than seeing it as a sign that she needs you to stop giving advice or whatever you are doing. Assume the best, even though I know her behavior is frustrating. It is hell having a disabled aging spouse if that spouse is difficult. Is your dad grouchy a lot? Yes, it is annoying she calls and make it about you being the one who stopped calling or contacting her. Just laugh it off as an annoying quirk. You can even calmly say that you had not heard from her for a while, you assumed she had a lot going on, but you are so glad to be in touch.

I would also read up on depression among elderly caregivers and if you are truly concerned gently bring it up. if she bites your head off or stops talking to you and you truly think it's depression, tell her doctor so they can do a screener.[/quote]

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