Reply to How to offer support to parents without allowing it to drain me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What exactly? They have a roof over their head, true? Food to eat? What exactly is the problem?[/quote]
Bills. They don’t live outside their means— they keep the heat low and wear blankets and sweaters for example— but somehow SS isn’t enough and, like I said, they have no supplemental income from any retirement savings. So when something BIG comes up (last time it was a roof leak), she cries and complains, as one does in their situation, absolutely, if not just from regret.[/quote]

SS is low and TAXED. It is perfectly understandable that it isn't enough. Medical bills, even with good insurance, destroyed my folks retirement and savings. Also, my parents had roof damage from a storm that needed repair-immediately-and the insurance was trying to avoid it. $30k. I don't regret helping them. If they need to be moved into a home that is smaller or will require less maintenance, do it. We try to get bigger things as gifts so what money they have allows them to still function without being embarrassed and feeling like they lean on us for everything (because they don't, even if they can't absorb curveballs).

The lack of money is due to a systemic problem. Even if you can scrape by day to day, a roof leak, car break, freak storm or accident can throw you for a loop. That's true for most people. Distance yourself emotionally a bit if you need to but be fair. Unless they gambled it away or something truly irresponsible then I think you are being too harsh. [/quote]

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