Reply to stepfamily and inlaw issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I are both on our second marriage and have kids from our previous relationships.  I have 2b 1g aged 12, 12, 14 and he has 2b 16 & 21.  My kids live with us full time and 16 year old stepson lives with us 50% of the time.  The 21 year old is on his own.

I have a good relationship with my inlaws but there have been some things come up and[b] I am not sure if it should even be addressed with them.[/b]  H has a much younger sister that his parents had very late in life.  She is much closer in age to her nieces and nephews than her siblings.  Around 10 years ago they started taking SIL and their grandkids on vacation to a new place every year for 1 week in the summer.  It has become a tradition.  In 2020 the trip was cancelled because of Covid.  They plan to make up for it this year.  Over spring break they are taking the kids to FL and this summer they are spending 2 weeks in Hawaii.  This is causing some issues with my kids not being included.  It was after Christmas that my kids spoke up.  The 16 year old got a PS5 for Christmas from the grandparents and they got my kids clothes and some gift cards.  I was very grateful but they spent much more money on their grandson than my kids and they noticed the difference.

I told my kids that it was not realistic for them to expect a PS5 from them and to be thankful for the nice gifts they received from them.  They got really nice gifts from their own grandparents and father.  If it was anything but a PS5 I don't think they would have mentioned anything.  Let me tell you that gaming system is all the rage.

These 2 upcoming trips are causing more issues with my kids.  I don't know what to tell them.  We will be taking our own vacation this summer but we cannot afford for all of us to go to Hawaii.  I spoke with my husband about my kids being upset and he said that he is sympathetic but his kids have been taking these trips for years with his parents and its something my kids will have to accept.  He said his ex wifes stepson has never gone on these trips.  Has anyone dealt with this?  I really don't know what to tell my kids and I don't want them being resentful.  I wish I could afford these kind of trips and gifts but I just can't and neither can their father and grandparents.  Any feedback?[/quote]

I think you should address the issue with you kids, not ILs.  Kids are old enough to understand if you tell them what you've written here.[/quote]

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