Reply to MIL problem (AGAIN!).... re. nursing home/decision making...

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[quote=Anonymous]I totally feel for you.  My FIL had a massive stroke and was in a rehab facility while he was in recovery.  Like your MIL, he seemed mostly sane with some occasional dementia.  He would also state things that weren't true.  I don't want to call it lying because that implies he knew it wasn't the truth.  He actually believed what he said - like the rehab staff were cruel to him and told him they understood why we would leave him in a place like that.  He also didn't realize how often we visited him (almost every day) and the frequency that he had visitors.  He was there for almost 3 months and then we brought him back to his house (less than 2 miles from us). He is wheelchair bound and can't use the toilet. My DH works from home so he would just take his laptop to his dad's and work there during the day and an overnight nurse would come for the overnight and weekends.  It didn't work.  Long story short, it was almost the end of our marriage.  After being home for almost 3 months, he went to a nursing home. As hard as it is for DH and as expensive as it is, it was the best decision for all of us.  We can't provide the level of care that my FIL needs.

As far as your MIL moving 5 hours away, I gently suggest that you consult with her doctor or a social worker.  She might not be as sane as you think.  But, unless an outside observer can determine that, she is allowed to make her own decisions.  I agree with the PP that you need to lay everything out for her and if she still decides to move that far away, you need to let go of any guilt.  Easier said than done, I know.[/quote]

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