Reply to Teacher concerned about DS’s size- how to handle?

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[quote=Anonymous]
1. It's racist and it's bullying, two things that are not acceptable in this day and age.

2. Corroborate with the teacher. Stay neutral. Ask for confirmation that she did indeed say these things.

3. Look around for witnesses. Can other people confirm this happened? It will strengthen your case.

4. Send a letter of complaint to the head of school, and if this is a larger school system, to the hierarchical superior of the head of school. Send it to more than one person just in case they decide to protect their own. The risk of shelving the complaint is reduced when it's sent to many people.

5. In the complaint, you need to be very factual and precise: give dates and describe the teacher's words as best as your child or someone else can recall them. Add the teacher's confirmation or witness descriptions if you have them.

6. Request that your teacher apologize to your child, and that the school arrange for a counselor or someone else to talk to the class about how pointing out other people's appearance and making them a potential object of derision is bullying, and not allowed.

7. If your child wants to, request that he be transferred to another class.

My son was in the 1.7th percentile for a while. Now he's at the second or third percentile, at 15 years old. He too has mixed Asian and European ancestry. I will say that in our European country, which has less enlightened professors, it wouldn't surprise me to hear a teacher say something like that. Not in a mean way, but without realizing that pointing out such things can lead to teasing among the children later, and that it makes that child feel singled out unfairly, since there are characteristics beyond anyone's control. If I complained in that country, I might not get very far.

But here in this country? I would raise hell. Teachers here know better than to do this.

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