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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You never really know! No matter how much you assess the pros and cons along with your intuition it’s still a gamble. I was lucky that my husband and I were good friends for a few years before we got together so I got to really know him without romance blinding me. [/quote]

+1 You never really can know. I married my best friend. He turned out to be an abusive malignant narcissist and I am still in the middle of battling the after effects that will linger in pieces my whole life.

What I now believe and teach my friends and daughter is that you have to wait a period and watch how people change after every step of the way. Start dating and wait. Become exclusive and wait. Move in together and wait. Get engaged and wait. Move cities and wait. Get married and wait. Walk away at any time if you see changes that are red flags. Don't have kids until you are sure. And even then, men change after the kids come. The red flags can start early, or they can change overnight. Just keep your eye out.

Know your boundaries and don't stay with anyone who crosses them. I communicate my boundaries clearly. I immediately stop engaging with people who cross them.

When I moved in with my fiance, he started treating me differently. He had pressured me to move things quickly. It seemed to make sense, but looking back, rushing things is a huge red flag. I walk away now.[/quote]

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