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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry, OP, this sounds hard and we experienced a similar (though a bit less dramatic) shift in our 11 y/o recently. We still have to spend a lot of time processing with her, but one thing that she said helped was that she feels like we are giving her more freedom and listening to her.

This started with our asking her to write down a bunch of stuff she wanted to do, but we didn't allow. (She is our oldest so she felt we were too over protective.) It was stuff like walking to a nearby store with a friend, getting allowance for chores, having dedicated texting time, sitting in the front seat of the car, etc. We said no to some things on the list, but there were others that were reasonable. We worked on a list of expectations for her and said that if she could meet our expectations we would start letting her do things from the list.

It was incentive-based, but also got to the heart of the issue from her perspective...she wanted more space and freedom.

None of this was perfect and hope it doesn't come off that way- we had a lot of bumps in the road, but after 6 months it feels better in the house. [/quote]

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