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[quote=Anonymous]This is DCUM so no one will believe me, but I do the vast majority of the housework and child-rearing.

I get the kids fed, brushed, dressed, packed and driven to 'school'. 
I do the kids & my laundry.
I do the meal prep.
I keep the kitchen clean.
I pick up the house & direct the kids to do their share.
I take out the trash.
I pick the kids up from school.
I cook the meals, and clean up after them, with 'help' from the kids. 
After that, we do what she wants, which is usually sit on the couch and watch TV.

I earn 2/3ds of the HHI and we're fine.

She WFH and feels overwhelmed by her job. We could live without it, but she felt like a failure when she was a SAHM with small kids.
2 days a week I work out of the house, and she holds it down with lunchables, leftovers, and a messier house. 
On about half the weekends, she'll clean out a closet or do a really good job of cleaning a room. She handles most of the birthday planning (though I help with execution).

I want help...but when I ask about it, as gently as I can, I get deep resentment, and another day (of many!) without sex. When I bring up anxiety or depression, same thing, and a denial. When I bring up counselling, she says she's afraid the counselor and I will gang up on her and/ it wont work.  I want some free time of my own for a hobby or exercise. And, of course, I want affection and sex.

I'm 100% sure she resents that I make so much more with apparently (to her) less effort, and have much more time to spend with our children.

What can I do?  This has been going on for years. When do you know its time to cut your losses and make separate lives?
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