Reply to When to Honor DC Wishes for Custody?

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Reply to "When to Honor DC Wishes for Custody?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Soooo much missing from this? WHY does she dislike going to dads? Are you being positive and supportive in your coparenting relationship? Or have you being trying to alienate/undermine him from day one?

If she doesn't like going to dad's because you have an Xbox and he doesn't, life's tough all over kid.

If she doesn't like going to dad's because you've been saying for years that he's mean and awful, and she's picked that up, you are a bad person and should get into therapy.

If she has some legitimate grievances, talk to her about it. Work with her (and your ex as necessary) to try and improve things. Or at least get them out in the open. But the details on your relationship with your ex and what her issue actually is matter so, so much here.

I think (and I say this as someone who grew up with joint custody) it's common for kids to get along, let's say, more smoothly, with one parent/household more than the other. Just due to personality. Certainly, I got along more smoothly at my dad's, and my brother got along more smoothly at my mom's. But there was nothing wrong per say, just a bit harder, particularly at certain ages. If it's that, this is the kind of challenges that are a learning experience for a 10 year old. Remember, if you guys were together she'd be living with her dad and butting heads a bit 100% of the time. That's part of growing up - don't let the divorce skew your perspective too much on that, if that makes sense. [/quote]

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