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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Because I am mom.  Whereas Dad gets huge kudos for anytime he "helps" out -- "isn't it so great Dad made lunch today?" (as opposed to every other day when mom makes it?)  How did I get here?  I have tried hard to set equal gender expectations -- that both men and women have equal responsibility around the house, and in the above example, my 10 yo DD is telling me I should be appreciative of Dad, and when I point out that I do the bulk of it, she's like "well that your responsibility!"  How the hell did I raise such an unfeminist daughter?

And yes, I have a job too.  We are both working from home during this pandemic.  They come to me for anything and everything (including things they can do themselves -- like get a snack).  I tell them to ask their dad, and they're all "but he's working!"  What do they think I'm doing?!

I feel like getting in the car and driving away from these ungrateful sods.

[/quote]

I have a very strong hunch that when your kids go to their dad he says "go away I'm working" and then turns back to his computer. And when they come to you, you say "ugh, I'm working!" and then get them what they asked for. Or get them what they asked for within the next 30 mins.

If so - that's the thing to fix, with your husband's help. From now one, questions from 9am-1pm go to Mom, from 1-5pm they go to Dad. They come to you at 3pm, tell them to scram. Don't lift a finger. And don't get them a snack if they can get it themselves!!

Kids aren't stupid. They'll ask someone 50 times for something (approximately). If 10 of those times, they get a yes, they'll keep asking forever. If they get 50 no's they'll give up. [/quote]

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