Reply to I was raised to be a mousy woman

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my mom, but she raised me to be a pleaser.  And to "turn the other cheek" and to serve my DH and make things nice for everyone.  I will always be described as a nice person, but a pushover.  My kids know it, my DH knows it and my friends know it.  How do you become stronger and stop caring if people don't like what you say or do?  I obsess over hurting someone's feelings, and if I do stand up for myself, people attack me.  Usually because I have held my anger in for so long, I blow up.  And it always shocks everyone.  I no longer host dinners or holidays at my home, because I end up doing all the work.  And I have stopped babysitting everyone's kids for free.   But I still feel like a doormat, what should I do?[/quote]

I don't think you sound mousy.  You sound like a nice person.  The next time someone asks you to do something you really don't want to do, say "no, I can't".  Or if you find you do end up saying "yes" when really you want to say no, contact the person afterward and say that you thought about it, but you really can't do "x, y, or z".  You can still be yourself, which sounds nice and caring, and just make sure you say no when necessary.  And if you care about what they say in response, well, you'll feel bad about it a few days and they you'll forget about it.  You'll be fine. [/quote]

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